Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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