i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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