Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize