the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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