I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
