Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
