You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Pants are for mortals
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
