He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
