Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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