whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
