So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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