I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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