I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
