Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
