I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
well you can't waste a boner
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize