I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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