'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
