i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
