Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
