Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
