I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
