she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize