i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
