Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Sober January is a disaster.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
