hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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