That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
