One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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