Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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