I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
