OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
