a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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