The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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