last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
