if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
