Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
