It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
