Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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