i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
