i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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