I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
