Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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