I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
