You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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