I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
But theres a keg here and me gusta
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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