I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
