so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
