you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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