C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
