is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize