batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
