so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
