he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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