he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love having hate sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
