does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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