i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
