I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
