no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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