I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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