I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
