Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
