So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
only you would photoshop your dick
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
