I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
